


Looking Up

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [202]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Gen, HRE is dying, Prussia is kinda OOC sorry, Reminiscing, Set some time after the Brothers’ Grimm Strip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-14 18:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15394785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: Holy Rome is on his deathbed while Prussia attempts to reunite the Germanic nations as one. Things aren’t going so well in Central Europe right now...Aka Holy Rome reminisces while Prussia tries to keep up their morale.





	Looking Up

**Author's Note:**

> What are summaries?
> 
> Sorry for all the OOCness in this oneshot. I feel like Prussia would have been serious for once, but I probably made him a little too serious.
> 
> Holy Rome is my 2nd favourite character in Hetalia after Romano, so I tried hard with this one. I especially love the strips which show what happened to him after Chibitalia. Most people in the (dead) fandom don’t seem to have read World Stars, but I’ll leave the strip this is set slightly after here if you want to read it:
> 
> http://hetarchive.net/hetalia-world☆stars-chapter-187-its-the-first-edition/

It was becoming more and more difficult to move these days. Holy Rome found he spent more time staring at the ceiling than anything else. He had memorised each crack, every place where the paint had been applied too thinly and every swirl in the pattern. The ceiling was white, but where the paint chipped it was a yellowish colour.

The door creaked open suddenly, causing the boy to jump. He was still terrified he might somehow be found out. He trusted Prussia to not tell anyone he was still alive, but someone else could still find out some other way. Fortunately for him, a familiar shock of silver hair and piercing purplish-red eyes came into view seconds after he heard the door.

“Hey little brother! How’re you doing?” Prussia smiled excitedly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Holy Rome tried to manage a weak smile back but ended up bursting into a coughing fit. Immediately Prussia was at his side with a glass of water and some brotherly support. They were both used to these fits by now. Once he’d somewhat recovered, Holy Rome tried to meet his brother’s eyes through his own watery ones. 

“S-same as usual.” He managed to get out after catching his breath. This time, Prussia didn’t even try to smile. 

“It isn’t long now.” He said softly, gravely. Holy Rome understood. He nodded.

“What will happen to me?” It was a question he’d been avoiding asking, but at the same time he was curious. In moments like this, his mind would sometimes turn to golden fields, purple flowers and the green dress of the nation he’d left behind. He wanted to see her again. Prussia sighed, casting his eyes to the floor then back to Holy Rome.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I’ve been trying to rally the other German nations to unite which might buy you some time, but if you... you know... I don’t know if it’ll make any difference.” Prussia avoided looking at him when he couldn’t say the word ‘die’. It was a word neither of them wanted to say, but at the same time it was something they knew would happen. The Holy Roman Empire was no more after all.

“If you unite, you might become a new country.” Holy Rome’s voice was quiet and weak. He couldn’t muster up anything louder than a whisper, but luckily his brother was close enough to hear him. 

“I’ll be okay. If anything, you might get a new name.” This time, Prussia did smile at him. Holy Rome had his doubts about the nation being ‘okay’, but he went along with it to please his brother. They needed to stay positive in times like these. But then, a sudden realisation came to him which shocked him out of having hope.

“Wait... If I got a new name... I’d lose my memories too, right?” Prussia started, eyes widening. Then he shook his head slowly, disbelievingly. 

“Not necessarily. It depends on a lot of things. But... I don’t think you will.” He didn’t sound so sure. Holy Rome decided he’d have to go along with that again, even though neither of them believed it this time. He was happy his brothers would unite and become a stronger nation together, but he felt that that stronger nation just wouldn’t be him. It was weird to think his death might lead to the rise of someone new. Even though it happened a lot through history, Holy Rome had never expected it to happen to him. Now that he thought about it, that was a foolish assumption to make.

“Prussia...” He began. 

“Ja?” The older nation looked tired that day. He’d probably been either arguing with the other Germanics or trying to deal with France and Austria (possibly both) all day. It was a lot to deal with, but he never showed how much he was struggling on his face if he could help it. Holy Rome didn’t need the extra stress.

“When do you think it’ll happen?” He’d wanted to explicitly state what, but the words caught in his throat. He didn’t want to die, not really. It was a daunting prospect.

“Hopefully you still have at least a few more years, but it’s hard to tell. Theoretically you shouldn’t even be here right now.” Holy Rome winced at that. He still felt the pain of his loss as a nation. It was this agonising pain which tore him apart a little more day by day, until all he had left was his faint memories of a better time. He really, really missed Italy’s smile and her golden eyes and her beautiful art...

“I wish I’d gotten the chance to see Italy first...” He mumbled without thinking.

“It’s too dangerous.” Prussia said softly. He was right, but it hurt.

After making sure Holy Rome was going to be alright for at least the rest of the day, Prussia left him to rest while he worked on some stuff his boss had sent over. The sole positive of technically not existing anymore was that Holy Rome didn’t have to deal with things like that. If only there were more positives.

As he stared at that white, awful ceiling, Holy Rome began to drift into the territory of daydreams. It was no surprise that his mind was firmly set on Italy. He fantasised about them meeting again, in a happier place where he wasn’t dying and the world wasn’t falling apart around him. He’d feel her lips against his again, and they’d eat the sweets she made together. They’d be all different shapes, sizes and colours... And then they’d sit somewhere quiet and talk about everything they’d faced during their time apart.

He couldn’t believe centuries had passed since he last spoke to her. 

The tears fell before Holy Rome even realised he was crying. Slowly he reached up to brush away the liquid from his eyes, wondering why he felt like this all of a sudden. Perhaps it was the loneliness of this bedroom, day after day. It was nice to see Prussia, of course, but even he couldn’t be around all the time due to all the troubles he was having within his own nation. Holy Rome really just missed Italy too. So much had happened since she was pressing those panties into his hands all those years ago. He’d experienced war, pain, the true struggles of being a nation. There was so much to deal with, and so much to fight. He had to sacrifice a lot to stay alive, and it hurt. 

Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to be human instead. Had he and Italy been human, they could have been together. Or maybe not. Maybe it wouldn’t work then either because, because-

Holy Rome wiped the tears away more aggressively. There was no pointing in longing for things he couldn’t have. At least he was still alive. There was still time, and there was still hope. 

He forced himself to replace his tears with a smile and the knowledge that someday he would see her again. He had to.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone wasn’t too OOC. I tried.
> 
> Prompt- Crying
> 
> Original Number- 241


End file.
